Stress...

I've realized that when I'm really really stressed out, it shows less than when I'm only moderately stressed out. When I'm really stressed out I tend to look completely fine. Maybe more tired than usual but generally of the same or similar temperment as I am normally. That is, before I completely crack and have a nervous break down which manifests itself in one of three ways:

1. I become irrationally depressed and start feeling like a useless waste of space while chain smoking myself into oblivion.

2. I become extremely emotional, the littlest of things make me cry. I'm not much of a crier so I've come to the conclusion that my tear ducts only respond to stress.

3. I get really angry at something really small and stupid and then to deal with that, go out with my friends and get completely hammered and wake up the next morning not knowing why I'm lying on the floor of the bathroom.

Hopefully none of these 3 thins will happen. Can't say for sure though. I'm definitely feeling some pressure and as far as my usual outlets for stress (volleyball, sex, playing piano, bitching to girlfriends, etc.) go, they are for the most part absent from my life at this point for one reason or another. Hopefully, if and when I crack, I'll be at home and not at work. I can completely see myself scarring a bunch of 6 year olds for life with one of my outbursts. Go me. =P

May Day

Uggghh...I feel icky. If it weren't May Day I would have stayed in bed. It was awfully inviting but...there's a huge concert today and kids would be upset if I wasn't there to see it, AND there's a faculty appreciation luncheon and...booo. At least I hide my feeling crappiness well. It's a dress day so I had to get all...dressy. It's fine but I'm kinda unused to walking in stilettos. Hopefully I won't break my ankle. That would just make things a whole lot worse.

Oh well, at least it's early dismissal today. I look forward to eating good food and possibly partaking in some tequila (yes, there's gonna be tequila at the faculty luncheon. Mmm....tequila.) And then going home and sleeping for a week. Hurrah...