I think I have bad luck...

I've been having some really shitty luck with planes this trip. First my flight out of Detroit was delayed 4 hours. Now, I'm sitting here in Ninoy Aquino International Airport waiting for my flight to KL to board...3 hours later than it was supposed to. Le sigh...I've been sitting in this airport for oh...5 hours now. I'm not what you would call chipper. I'm also still jetlagged so all I want to do is sleep...but this chair is awfully hard and metal and uncomfy so that's a no go.

At least there's internet. I'm not entirely sure whose I'm stealing but whatever. Gives me something to do...or at least an outlet to complain to. =P If there's anything I hate more than flying, it's flying alone. On the plane I normally just sleep or isolate myself in my own little IPOD, trashy magazine, stupid movie world. But while I'm waiting in the airport...I get so bored by myself. And you see all these people travelling together and it's just depressing. I wish I had someone to talk to :(

I met up with W last night for some yosi and beer. It was fun catching up and what not though I was ready to go to bed at around 9. He arrived at 830. =P We were talking about our friend in the army and how he's slowly losing his mind (the army is not for everyone...) and W said something about how me and army boy are meant to be. Apparently he's just waiting for both of us to wake up and confess our undying love for one another. If that happens I will be very very shocked. My parents will be happy though. =P They either want me to marry him or they'll just adopt him...something like that.

Hmmm...there's a really hot guy on my flight. Mmmm...eye candy. What if I strategically position myself in...um...the aisle of the plane...and...yeah...I got nothing. I just like to look anyway. I'm not really the type to hit on guys I don't know. And when I hit on guys that I do know, I'm mostly kidding. Mostly.

Blaaaahhh...I just want to get on this plane. So I can take a nice long nap. Hmm...I'm also hungry...what to do what to do. Guess I'll stop my bitching and watch the hands of the clock move. Only 45 minutes left!

My flight was delayed 4 hours. 4 fucking hours. Not only that, I was already on the plane so the flight that was supposed to be 13 hours turned into 17. It's almost 3 am here...I just got home. Was supposed to be in at 10 pm. Woohoo...

I also couldn't find my car. I think my memory may be failing me in my old age. Anyway...to all those out there in internet land, yes, I am still alive. Hooray for me!

Long day. Drank too much wine. I don't even like wine. But I drank it anyway. I'm tired...I don't even know why I'm still up...

As predicted, my lost ID has come back to bite me in the ass...le sigh...

Huh...I haven't been that mean in a long while. It's kinda refreshing. Hah...yeah...I'm not used to being mean. But he deserved it, I promise. His email was much worse...and contained pictures of a graphic nature that have officially scarred me for life. *Shudder*...

I guess maturity doesn't come with age.

People have to learn not to piss me off...

Dear 41 year-old asshole, (not his real name but that is what he shall be known at forever more)

Excuse me, I don't think I addressed that email to you. Are you so pathetic that you need to spend your time breaking into other people's inboxes? You want to see a loser? Look in the mirror jackass.

Now, I wasn't going to get in the middle of all this since it has nothing to do with me but since you so kindly addressed your lewd, immature, completely uncalled for email to me, I feel the need to respond. And unlike __________, I'm not above making below the belt remarks. Scratch that, I'm not above making below the belt remarks when I'm dealing with scum like you.

I like how you use the term "loser" so frequently in your email. Maybe you need to work on your vocabulary a bit. But you're right, between the two of us, I'm definitely the loser. I mean, I'm young, have my whole life ahead of me, and have many people in my life who care about me. You, all you have to look forward to is losing your hair and having your kids grow up hating you because of what you did to their Mom. Clearly, I am the loser.

Don't email me again. And do us all a favor and stay out of ___________ life. She deserves someone much classier than you.

Sincerely,
T

PS--I hear you have a small dick. Clearly I am the loser again.

I just talked to J for an hour. Umm...hrrmm...it's problematic when everyone's name begins with the same letter. Let's call him JD...I just talked to JD for an hour. I haven't spoken to that kid in ages. He was the high school boyfriend. First ever person I really cared about. It's funny how similar we are. When we talk, we relate so well just because we're on the same wave length. Granted we're both very different now than we were in HS. But it's strange that that part of our relationship with one another hasn't changed. It was nice talking to him. And it's nice that he still worries about me and checks up on me even though it's been 5 years since we were together. Mm...fond memories.

Alcohol does the body good

It's almost 1 am, I'm sitting in my apartment, drinking and blogging by myself. I'm hoping the alcohol will help me sleep. I think this is how alocholism starts...ah well. Though, knowing my history with drinking and trying to sleep this weekend it's probably not the best idea.

On Friday, I went out with a couple of friends in Brighton and drank. And then came home and proceeded to drink more. Let's just say I managed to get myself pretty inebriated. And then, I tried to sleep. But sleep was unfortunately not forthcoming. I spent the next few hours lying in bed like a goober, feeling depressed, drunk dialing people at 3 am hoping someone would pick up and talk to me. I guess it's good no one picked up. I was in a fragile state of mind and chances are, things I would have said would have come back to bite me in the ass. I eventually fell asleep...and miraculously didn't wake up with a hangover. Hurrah. But yeah...it was stupid. But I apparently don't learn from my mistakes.

Yesterday, J told me that I had a negative attitude about things. While I don't think that's true in general...I guess it IS true in relation to the whole going to NY situation. If you don't know about it, don't stress...I promise I haven't gone back to my standing on street corners in NY lifestyle. Haha...yeah, I have a strange sense of humor. But back to the topic. I guess I have been having a bit of a negative attitude about it all. And maybe I need to stop that. Because, it's not about me. And it could be much worse than it is. I mean she could be a bitch. But she's not, and I love her...so...yeah. Count my blessings I guess. And it'll be nice to visit and what not. And if anything, I owe it to him to be happy about this. So I will smile until I really feel it.

Yeah, that probably didn't make sense to you unless you know the situation. But that's okay. It made sense to me. And as this is where I vent so I don't explode...that's all that really matters.

I've been watching a lot of movies lately...lots of crappy romantic comedies and the like. And though, for the most part I find them implausibly entertaining at best, I kinda wonder, do things like that happen in real life? I mean, not the ridiculous romantic scenarios that always end with the girl getting the guy or the guy getting the girl, but the romantic...umm...happenings? I can't think of the word right now. But I mean, do people really dance together in the rain? Are surprise romantic dinners really cooked by one person for another? Is coming home to an apartment lit with dozens of candles something that happens often? Do people really receive orchids from other people? Have I just lived an extremely deprived life? I wonder sometimes. I feel old in a lot of ways...but when it comes to things like this, I feel very young. Because I don't know the first thing about this shit. I mean, I've been in relationships, sure. I'm not sexually inexperienced. I've had boyfriends before and non-boyfriends and flings. But as far as romance? Yeah...not so much. But I'm content without it...Is that weird? Am I a weird girl? (E, don't answer that question, no one axed you anyway ;))

Yeah...I dunno...I think I've drank too much. I'm gonna go drunk dial people now...

Old friends...

I talked to A today...it's been literally years since I've spoken to him. It's funny...he's still the same. And when I talk to him, I'm still the same. I think my favorite line was "You're wonderful! (from what I can remember.:))" Ah...it's been a long time A...I'm hardly as wonderful now as I was.

There's some stuff on my mind that I unfortunately can't expand on. I think it's a proven fact that girls pop when they have secrets they can't share. So, there may be some clean up to be done when B moves in. Oh well...at least I don't have to clean it. Hah.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. I've been having nightmares. I dunno what's going on with that. I used to have them a lot in college...specifically sophomore year. But I was all fucked up then so I can understand that. But they're coming back now. Apparently last night I started flipping out and hitting J or something. I don't remember. What I remember is waking up terrified and not knowing where I was. It was all dark, I didn't even recognize J. It was like my mind was somewhere else. The strange thing is, I can't remember what the dream was about. I remember really vague things. Fire in particular. But I don't remember what happened in the dream or what scared me so much. I just remember being scared. Ehh...maybe tonight I'll fare better.

I've started running...yes...me...running. It's the second day in a row that I've done it and almost gone into cardiac arrest. Smoking and running do not go well together. I probably shouldn't smoke while I'm running. Haha...okay, I'm not that retarded. I save the smoking for before and after =P. I run late too...so my neighborhood is more than a little sketchy. Oh well...at least the creepy guys keep me running.

The word should...

If you know me at all..you know I despise the word "should". Seems like an odd thing to despise but I do...I don't think a word like that needs to exist really. It's difficult to explain. You do or you don't...there is no should. (Hehe...I keep thinking of that stupid IASAS forensics thing, "do or don't, there is no try" hehe...ah...I'm so random.) But it's more than just do or don't. It's will or won't. Or could or can't. But not should. Should is a useless word. I think I feel that way because choices, feelings (about ourselves and others), circumstances, everything in life is fluid. You may have chosen something now but that choice isn't going to bind you for the rest of your life if you don't want it to. You may be feeling one way now but that doesn't mean in a few months you'll be feeling the same way. Things change, people change. To use the word should denies that change. As though things are set in stone when they're not.

In other news...My parents are back from NK alive and well. I've gotten part of my children's story done. I have the theme from titanic stuck in my head. (I hate you Celine Dion!!!) I'm hungry. And I'm going to stop babbling now...carry on with your work days...