Who do you want to be?

I feel like we spend a good portion of our lives wondering what we're going to be when we grow up. It ranges from the general ("I'm going to get married" or "People suck, I'm gonna be a hermit") to the specific ("I want to be a rockstar" or "I dislike working, thus I will live in my parents' basement for the rest of my life") and encompasses everything from career choice ("Hey guise! I think I want to be a professional wrestler") to location ("I like Boston...it has Irish people and lots of beer") to marital status ("Mormons have the right idea...polygamy is the way to go"). You spend a lot of time pondering all these different elements of what you want to be when you grow up and all of a sudden, seemigly out of nowhere, you wake up one morning and oh shit...you're grown up.

I have that "Oh shit" moment several times a year at least. After I graduated from college they began occuring more frequently making me wonder if perhaps, I've become overly neurotic in my old age. I've always been the analytical type but in the past, my analytical powers were focused more on relationships and understanding other people. Now they are firmly set on the future and what the hell I'm going to be doing with my life five years from now.

I've never been the type to worry about money. I guess that stems from the fact that I've never HAD to worry. Growing up, we weren't rich but we were definitely better off than a lot of people. We lived within our means and never wanted for anything. Now that I'm relatively on my own (not completely because school is expensive!) and my dad is getting older, I worry more about it. I don't like asking my parents for help because I know my dad is getting close to retirement and my parents are trying to re-earn the money they spent on my brother's and my higher education costs. As a result, I'll work any job just to make ends meet. Gone are the days where I thought about what job would make me happy and help me feel like my life meant something. Now it's, go to work even if you hate it and maybe tomorrow you'll find the job of your dreams. I can't decide if I'm being practical or overly materialistic.

Okay...this post didn't make any sense. Whatever...I'm at work. I think it kills braincells...

Horrible people?

We members of the Dysfunctional Family call one another "horrible" on a daily basis. In fact, we have been called horrible by people outside of our little family who have witnessed how we relate to one another and the world at large. However, I think this description is grossly inaccurate. We're not horrible. I mean, it's not like we talk about how someone can't get a job at Denny's because her fat ass will knock things off a table 5 feet away (Kat) or ponder ways to kill babies (Maya). It's not like we call people disease ridden whores when we play them in Mario Kart (Ben) or talk about hitting bums with our cars (Julie). We would never name our friends' large breasts Chublets (me) nor would we accuse anyone of molesting a chinchilla (Kim). We're not driven by spite (Jose) and we don't come up with names like "Katouchmes" or "Kachoogas" for the twins of another large breasted friend (Kyle). We don't give each other nicknames like BJ or chlamydia ridden whore. We don't spend our time laughing at the dumbasses on "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" or making catty comments about the contestants on America's Next Top Model. We would never say "I wonder what it's like to be stupid" or joke about breaking up with someone over text message. We do not call people "tranny girlfriend" or "fat cow". We are clearly not horrible!

...Okay, I lied. We are horrible. At least we don't drown puppies.

Every time you think of ridding society of us...think of this kitten. We're just as cute. Promise.

*EDIT* Okay, I JUST realized that the picture I had up of the really cute kitty is no longer a photo of a kitty. Whoops...Thanks Froggy for pointing it out.

Weekend Update (I know how excited you are)

Despite the bad weather, this weekend was both fun and tiring (it's funny how those two adjectives go hand in hand). I learned two important things about myself: 1) I am not a very patient person and 2) If you're playing beirut, you want me as your partner. I'm pretty exhausted right now but here's a quick run down.

Friday was spent mostly avoiding the snow (work was canceled so I lucked out) and cleaning the apartment. I have to say, it looks much nicer now than it did 2 days ago and feels much more cozy/homish than it did before. My room still looks like a clothing store exploded in it but whatever. Some things can't be helped. =P

On Saturday I woke up super early (8 am...hey, that's super early for me!) and headed over to Jenneen's for her St. Patty's day brunch. I forgot how difficult it is to walk in the snow (going to SF for a weekend has apparently spoiled me) so by the time I got to the T stop I was not only soaking wet but pretty pissed off as well. Luckily, the day got exponentially better from then on. Jenneen's party was awesome. Good food, lots of beer, old friends. I think I played something like 7 beirut games between 11 am and 7 pm and drank a lot of green beer. It was nice to see some of the old Tufts faces as well as meet some new people. I'm not normally very social but, I dunno, yesterday was different. I was downright outgoing. Didn't know I had it in me. Haha. I came home relatively early (probably about 10 pm) and passed out. I was gonna go out later that night and drink more at Tufts but I was pretty beat (and all the cab numbers I called were busy).

Sunday, I slept in. Did a bunch of chores, bought some stuff for the apartment, cooked dinner...y'know the usual. Then I headed to the Thirsty Scholar for trivia...which didn't end up happening tonight but we sat around and talked anyway. Strangely, even though I downed two cups of coffee there, I'm still really tired. I think my body is telling me I'm too old for partying.

Anyway, this weekend was good. It sucks that Spring Break is over (though, I guess I didn't really have much of one since I was working all week) but...eh, what can you do right? You could sleep I guess...which is probably what I'm gonna do right now.

This is how I recover from too much drinking

After a Saturday spent playing beirut and drinking excessively, I like to spend my Sunday's taking stupid quizzes and contemplating the meaning of life. Or just staying in bed being a goober. Anyway, I stole this quiz off of Froggy's site. I don't think it really revealed to me anything I don't know already but...whatever. I enjoy wasting time.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

I found you Ms. New Booty

I'm at work and that stupid booty song is stuck in my head. It probably doesn't help that I'm sorta delirious right now from lack of sleep. I'm never taking the red eye again. They sent my damn bag to fucking Idaho. It got to Detroit okay but then they sent it back in the other direction. Stupid? I think so. AND the someone replaced the medianet program on my work comp with a word file, specifically a paper. I was like, this is great but how am I supposed to make reservations with your paper. I'm sometimes surprised at how stupid people can be...Blaaarrrgghhh...Okay...moving on.

This weekend was a lot of fun. I really needed a break and a change of scenery. The beautiful weather we had didn't hurt either. Some highlights from the weekend (in embarrassing quote form because that's how I roll):

BJ: How come we're not going in the back way? I like the back way!
(silence)

BJ: Oooh Chalupa's fur is all soft and cuddly.
Froggy: You know if Chalupa had a rape whistle he would be blowing it right now.

Froggy: Oooh, she said the "m" word...marriage. Which is almost as bad as the "a" word.
BJ: What's the "a" word?
Froggy: A baby.

Jules: I'm having issues with Kat's large breasts.

Me: The evolution of Kat *blomp*. (Complete with hand gestures.)

Froggy: Julie, we hid a baby somewhere in your apartment. Better find it before it dies and starts to smell.

Jules: Look (pointing to a picture on her wall) I adopted her!
Us: Umm...is she in the closet?

Ah...good times. Okay...time to close...Hooray for wasting time at work!

Kat likes "the back way"

I'm in San Fran right now in Julie's apartment chilling by myself while she does something called "work". Now someone tell me, what means "work"? It sounds very unpleasant to me. =P

Anyway, my trip has been really great so far. I'm probably much poorer now than I had expected originally but that's okay. I don't go on vacation that often so might as well make the most of it. I was planning on going more in depth about my trip but...I'm having trouble forming coherent sentences (vacation does that to me) so I think I'm gonna go play with Chalupa instead. He's been much less skittish since Kat left. Was probably afraid of that chlamydia ridden whore touching him inappropriately in the middle of the night. Yup, I went there Kat! Or should I say BJ? Didn't we tell you that your powers of persuasion wouldn't work on a chinchilla? Silly woman.

And in honor of our lovely reunion, I give you Ms. New Booty...otherwise known as Kat

Oops...I think I broke it...

I've always been considered an emotional person. It doesn't take much of anything to get me to feel something whether it be anger, sadness, or happiness. While I'm definitely not emotional to the point of instability or craziness, I am definitely more the feeling type than the thinking type (though, over analysis is also one of my many talents.) Some people would call me passionate (which I suppose is a more positive way to say "moody" but...whatever). But lately, I dunno...it's been different.

Over the last couple of weeks I've felt like that thing inside of me that is in charge of feeling stuff has been broken. It's not that I feel nothing, it's just that I feel things to a much lesser degree than I'm accustomed to. I guess you could say that when it comes to anything in my life right now, honestly, I could care less. School, work, social life...it all kind of blurs together for me. In some ways I feel like I'm walking through some sort of haze. Everything is blurry, everything I feel is dulled.

This in itself may be a good thing. I mean, I'm 24, maybe it's time I calmed down. Maybe it's time I stopped caring about every little thing and every single person I come into contact with on a daily basis. Maybe.

I think I may just need a change of scenery. Thank God I'm flying to San Francisco in a few days. I need to get out of this city. I think I need to put my life on hold for a little while so I can come back to it and be excited about it again. Or if not excited, at least feel something more than "Huh, yeah, I don't really care."

My brain hates me

That is all.