Why am I such an insomniac?

It's 4:16 am. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing up seeing as I have work and class tomorrow and I need to be rested for it but...I'm never tired when I should be I guess.

I'm thinking about writing a fantasy book. Yeah yeah, I know, if you know me you know I talk about writing things all the time and don't end up doing it. I mean I still have drafts lying around of the children's story I tried to write (both of them) as well as a couple of short stories that are done but by no means final copies. But...this is kind of different. It's not different in the sense that I know I'll actually have the motivation to finish it (I'm hoping that'll happen but...knowing me...I'll probably forget all about this in a week) but it's a story that I have pretty much all figured out (as opposed to having an idea but not knowing how to write it out at all.) And there's a reason I have it all figured out but...that reason probably isn't something I want people I don't know knowing about so I'm just gonna keep it to myself for the time being, but if you're one of my friends, feel free to ask and maybe, if I like you, I'll tell you ;).

I guess mostly, something my mom said is resonating with me as far as my writing goes. While I think she grossly overestimates my talent, she did say that if I didn't write this down and one day forgot about it, I would regret it. And she's probably right. But it's just the discipline that goes into writing an actual book...I don't know if I have that. I mean, I write poetry all the time but that's because it's shorter and easier to finish in one sitting. I find that if I don't finish in one sitting or in a designated amount of time, I totally lose interest and end up thinking about something else. I know when I was a teenager I had two stories I was working on that I never finished. And these were long manuscripts. Both were over 100 pages when I gave up on them. Though "gave up" is the wrong word. When I forgot about them. And since then, the hard drive they were saved on has been destroyed so I guess they'll never be finished (and I honestly can't really remember what they were about.)

Anyway...I'm not sure what I'm talking about really. It's late...I should sleep...I feel bad for you if you actually read through that entire senseless rant. You should probably expect that a lot if you read my blogs. I have a hard time focusing my thoughts when I'm blogging so I tend to just write whatever I'm thinking. It's a problem because I'm not witty or funny like my friends are when they blog but hey, at least I'm honest right? That's gotta count for something.